GET THERE FASTER
FIRST ABOUT TOOLS
In OA, we have tools that help us as we work the Steps. Remember to use these tools every week to support you on this journey. These tools will help keep you engaged when things get rough. Also, your use of the tools will help others stay engaged.
Meet with (phone, video, or in person) your Step Study guide, partner, or sponsor (recommended to schedule ahead of time)
Attend at least 2 meetings this week. You can find meetings by visiting www.oaunity.org/meetings or https://oa.org/find-a-meeting/?type=0
Make at least 2 phone calls every day
you may have to leave a message – that’s o.k.
Post on the text line at least 2 times this week (To be added to Whatsapp textline, text Becca D at (615) 496-9801 and give your first name, last initial, and phone number. Be sure to download Whatsapp to your phone.)
1) Post something about the step study
2) Post a response to someone else’s post
Be of service this week (Remember that service works when all else fails to keep us abstinent!)
do something for someone else
accept a service commitment for the Step Study
or be of service in some other way
Write or journal at least 2 times this week
STEP STUDY ASSIGNMENTS - SUGGESTED SCHEDULE
Below you will find a suggested schedule for completing this weeks Step Study assignments. Each day USUALLY includes about 30 minutes of reading or writing and 30 minutes of listening to a recording of a recovering members experience, strength, and hope on this Step. Assignments are suggested for 6 days with the 7th day being a day of rest or catching up if you fell behind.
Day One:
Listen to 30 minutes of podcast Step 9 from Viewpoint of Victim to Victimizer by Lawrie C. (most podcasts in this study can be found at https://www.avision4you.info/.)
Read the summary below:
The purpose of Step 8 is to become entirely willing to make amends. There
might be some amends you will not or cannot make face to face. Your
sponsor will help you sort those out. The amends process is for you to make
things as right as possible without causing more harm. Written amends
should be very simple, direct, honest, and concise.
Write how this statement relates to you.
Day Two:
Read Step 9 in the AA 12 and 12
Read the following Step 9 tips:
The Big Book suggests when making amends, “We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will run riot… If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes.” (page 76)
We make as many amends as possible face-to-face. Face-to-face is preferable to other mediums (e.g. phone, text, email.)
The Big Book tells us exactly what to say and what not to say. “Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue… We tell him that we will never get over our drinking until we have… straightened out the past. We… sweep off our side of the street realizing that nothing can be accomplished until we do so. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own.” (page 77)
If someone does throw us out of his office, we have made our demonstration, done our part. It’s water over the dam. (Big Book, page 78)
If we are having trouble making any amends, we remind “ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.” (Big Book, page 79)
Don’t forget to check out each amends with your sponsor or Step working partner before making it.
Finish listening to the podcast Step 9 from Viewpoint of Victim to Victimizer by Lawrie C.
Day Three:
Start with the formula below. For each person to whom you owe an amends, write your own words on a 3×5 index card.
FORMULA:
State the incident, i.e.: “When I was young, I did not understand you needed your own time and space. I withdrew.”
State your character defects in the situation, i.e., "This was selfish and inconsiderate of me" (use the CDPS to determine the exact character defects).
"I deeply regret the impact this had on our relationship."
"What can I do to make it right?"
Example 1:
· It was wrong of me to gossip about Barb.
· This was dishonest and inconsiderate of me.
· I deeply regret this.
· What can I do to make it right?
Example 2:
· I have not always been open or honest or loving or respectful with you. Sometimes I pushed you away, or I withdrew or was bossy with you.
· This was selfish and dishonest of me.
· I deeply regret how this has impacted our relationship.
· What can I do to make it right?
Example 3:
· It was wrong of me to be cold/distant/rude/harsh/argumentative with you.
· This was ______________ of me.
· I regret how this has impacted our relationship.
· What can I do to make it right?
Rework each amends using the following process:
1. Pray and ask God for guidance regarding what the amends might be.
2. Review and, if necessary, revise each of your amends with your sponsor.
3. When you need to make more than one amends to the same person, use two
separate 3×5 cards.
Day Four:
Prepare for making an amends by doing the following:
Read and try to memorize the amends. For some amends, you will be able to recite from memory; for others you may be too emotional. So, take your index card(s) with you.
If you are going to read your amends, tell the person you are going to read it because you want to make sure you say it well. Making amends to close family and friends can be a deeply emotional experience.
Remember to make amends to one person at a time, and pray before and after making amends to each person.
Day Five:
Begin making amends to those individuals you and your sponsor or Step working partner have agreed would be first.
Day Six:
After you make a few amends, read the Step 9 Promises on page 83-84 of the Big Book and see if they have begun to come true for you. “They will always materialize if we work for them.” If these promises are not coming true, you might need to look for some unfinished business.
LIST OF STEP STUDY ASSIGNMENTS
Listen to the podcast Step 9 from Viewpoint of Victim to Victimizer by Lawrie C. (most podcasts in this study can be found at https://www.avision4you.info/.)
Read the summary below:
The purpose of Step 8 is to become entirely willing to make amends. There might be some amends you will not or cannot make face to face. Your sponsor will help you sort those out. The amends process is for you to make things as right as possible without causing more harm. Written amends should be very simple, direct, honest, and concise.
Write how this statement relates to you.
Read Step 9 in the AA 12 and 12
Read the following Step 9 tips:
The Big Book suggests when making amends, “We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will run riot… If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes.” (page 76)
We make as many amends as possible face-to-face. Face-to-face is preferable to other mediums (e.g. phone, text, email.)
The Big Book tells us exactly what to say and what not to say. “Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue… We tell him that we will never get over our drinking until we have… straightened out the past. We… sweep off our side of the street realizing that nothing can be accomplished until we do so. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own.” (page 77)
If someone does throw us out of his office, we have made our demonstration, done our part. It’s water over the dam. (Big Book, page 78)
If we are having trouble making any amends, we remind “ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.” (Big Book, page 79)
Don’t forget to check out each amends with your sponsor or Step working partner before making it.
Start with the formula below. For each person to whom you owe an amends, write your own words on a 3×5 index card.
FORMULA:
State the incident, i.e.: “When I was young, I did not understand you needed your own time and space. I withdrew.”
State your character defects in the situation, i.e., "This was selfish and inconsiderate of me" (use the CDS to determine the exact character defects).
"I deeply regret the impact this had on our relationship."
"What can I do to make it right?"
Example 1:
· It was wrong of me to gossip about Barb.
· This was dishonest and inconsiderate of me.
· I deeply regret this.
· What can I do to make it right?
Example 2:
· I have not always been open or honest or loving or respectful with you. Sometimes I pushed you away, or I withdrew or was bossy with you.
· This was selfish and dishonest of me.
· I deeply regret how this has impacted our relationship.
· What can I do to make it right?
Example 3:
· It was wrong of me to be cold/distant/rude/harsh/argumentative with you.
· This was ______________ of me.
· I regret how this has impacted our relationship.
· What can I do to make it right?
Rework each amends using the following process:
1. Pray and ask God for guidance regarding what the amends might be.
2. Review and, if necessary, revise each of your amends with your sponsor.
3. When you need to make more than one amends to the same person, use two separate 3×5 cards.
Prepare for making an amends by doing the following:
Read and try to memorize the amends. For some amends, you will be able to recite from memory; for others you may be too emotional. So, take your index card(s) with you.
If you are going to read your amends, tell the person you are going to read it because you want to make sure you say it well. Making amends to close family and friends can be a deeply emotional experience.
Remember to make amends to one person at a time, and pray before and after making amends to each person.
Begin making amends to those individuals you and your sponsor or Step working partner have agreed would be first.
After you make a few amends, read the Step 9 Promises on page 83-84 of the Big Book and see if they have begun to come true for you. “They will always materialize if we work for them.” If these promises are not coming true, you might need to look for some unfinished business.
PRINTABLE CHECKLIST FOR TOOLS AND ASSIGNMENTS (WORD DOC)